I hereby officially declare the death of Bacon. And as a fat man who has spent years becoming close friends with Bacon, I find this day saddening to the deepest parts of my soul and stomach.
For what was once a delicious salty side at the breakfast table has now become nothing more than a bastardization of food. People attempting to be cute, clever and funny have done everything to repeatedly stab at the heart of my good friend Bacon.
It may have started with what was actually a good idea like bacon cups, but it spread like a sickening disease throughout our culture into things like chocolate covered bacon, bacon mints, bacon lingerie, and Baconnaise. But the final insidious infestation that killed bacon was the bacon explosion, an item so disgusting and vulgar that it choked out the last breath of Bacon.
With Bacon’s death upon us I think it is only appropriate to take this time to reflect on our own lives a bit, to see what we may have done to help in the finalization of Bacon. I am as guilty as anyone, but from here on out, with the death of Bacon, I am done. No more Bacon posts. No more Bacon on things that Bacon shouldn’t be on. No more dishes based on Bacon.
Bacon is dead. Honor our friend by respecting his legacy here on Earth, so that maybe a future generation can know and love the Bacon we all once did.
R.I.P. Bacon
Tagged with: bacon • bad bacon • death of bacon
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March 1st, 2009 at 10:56 am
You are a bacon purist, as am I. I mourn with you.
March 11th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Oh, thank God! I am so tired of bacon-shaped bandages, bacon soup, bacon candy…bacon is the latest anti-cool trend. I am just glad I missed the bacon lingerie. I don’t even want to know.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
wow.
i have no words.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
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March 12th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Nahhhh… Bacon’s not dead — it’s only resting.
March 13th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I don’t know if I agree that bacon is dead, but I do agree that bacon in this day has become more novelty than the great and salty food that it should be.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I called this months ago
http://randomaccessbabble.com/2009/01/move-over-bacon.html