Every high school has one. That one girl that is so ridiculously hot every boy in the entire school fawns over her. They sigh when her name is mentioned. They follow her around like little mice, hoping to catch a smile. But she doesn’t care. She knows she’s hot, so she treats everyone like crap.
Corky and Lenny’s is that girl. Well, if that girl was Jewish and smelled like corned beef.
The Soup Nazi at a corned beef restaurant?
I met my friend at Corky and Lenny’s for lunch earlier this week and after making it through the absolute hell that is Chargrin Blvd. at noon, I was excited to try some of that delicious corned beef.
The place was buzzing with excitement, waitresses ran between the tables and we were queued in a line behind an old woman. The hostess approached the woman with her index finger raised in a hand holding a small notepad.
“One!” she belted out in a thick Eastern European accent.
“No, my husband is coming, he’ll be here in a second” the meek old woman whimpered.
Before the woman could even finish the hostess brushed her to the side and moved on to us. “You two! Two!?”
The old woman that had been in front of us piped up, “If I can’t be seated, can I please sit down somewhere?”
The hostess pointed her to a small wooden chair sitting a pseudo closet for coats. The older lady made her way over and the hostess, not skipping a beat, took us to our table a few feet away. Although it is an inappropriate comparison, I couldn’t help but think of the Soup Nazi from Seinfield that would turn away customers if they weren’t 100% prepared. I understand they have a business to run, but why couldn’t she have seated the old woman and let us wait a few more minutes?
I want a big pickle in me, now!
With the smell of corned beef passing by with each order taken from the deli counter I was compelled to order a nice fat corned beef sandwich for lunch. It had been a while since I’d had any corned beef and the thought of that and big kosher pickle filling my mouth with a salty brine couldn’t have been more appealing.
Our waitress brought our sandwiches after a pretty decent wait and I was ready to mow. From the first bite though, I knew this wasn’t the corned beef I had remembered. This crap was so dry, completely devoid of any luscious fat, that I could barely eat it. I honestly had a hard time swallowing it, having to take a drink while it was in my mouth to help lubricate things. I felt like Ed “Cookie” Jarvis.
At this point I was praying for that plate of pickles to be brought over to our table. The waitress noticed she had forgotten them and assured us they would be on their way.
The pretty girls are all fat and single now.
Unfortunately, like the super-hot chick in high school, the pickles never made it to my mouth, let alone to my table. I left half of my corned beef sandwich uneaten and sulked out of the restaurant.
I don’t know what happened to Corky and Lenny’s; maybe they got a little too high on their horse to see that their service is so atrocious or that treating their customers like cattle probably isn’t the greatest idea. What really shocked me was how horrible the corned beef was that day, just atrocious.
They’ll learn though, you treat enough people like crap and eventually you don’t seem so special.
Tagged with: pickles • Soup Nazi • where to eat corned beef
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July 31st, 2008 at 2:29 am
I’ll take Jack’s over Corky and Lenny’s any day.
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July 31st, 2008 at 7:28 am
I gave up on C&L years ago. If you want a really satisfying corned beef experience – try Mister Brisket on South Taylor Road. I don’t eat pickles, but I know he gets his someplace special, and when we ordered in from them for lunch recently – everyone who likes pickles made theirs disappear!
Jack’s Deli does a decent corned beef, and Slyman’s is also primo in that department.
http://www.misterbrisket.com
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July 31st, 2008 at 9:36 am
My favorite Corky and Lenny’s story:
One evening my wife and I were eating there and there was an elderly gentleman dining alone at the next table. He ordered a slice of pie for dessert and asked for it to be heated. The waitress brought him his pie and left. He called her over and told her it wasn’t heated. She touches the pie with 2 of her fingers and tells him “it’s fine.” I cannot understand how that place stays in business.
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August 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I grew up around the corner from C&Ls, which is actually in Woodmere, not Beachwood, but whatever… we used to go in there after football games and eat all the pickles in the bowls they kept on the tables. When my husband (a good catholic boy from the west side) and I were dating I took him there. It was noisy as usual. He wanted a turkey sandwich, and the waitress asked him something about it, which he couldn’t hear but thought she was asking if he wanted the regular size or the over stuffed sandwich. So he told her he wanted the regular size. She had actually asked if he wanted regular turkey or off-the-bone, so she yelled at him, “I didn’t ASK what size you wanted!” He has refused to return since.
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September 12th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I’m sorry that you had a bad experience and can assure you that Corky and Lenny’s does NOT take their popularity for granted! We know that we’ve only been successful because of our customers, and want very much to maintain a good and well deserved reputation.
I wish you had complained about the corned beef so that you could get another sandwich at that time. The corned beef is still fabulous, but, just like anything else that is made by man, it can be overdone or pourly cut now and then. It is a shame, but help is not always what it should be.
C & L is almost always trying to hire competent waitstaff. Obviously you didn’t get one of the more together people. You should, of course, have gotten pickles when you asked for them.
I fear I’m babbling (it’s very late) drop me a line and I’d be happy to make good on your sandwich.
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November 16th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I have to agree with the Corky & Lenny’s person that you probably just got an unrepresentative sandwich. I think their corned beef is terrific and not as you describe. Can’t comment on the waitstaff as I’ve only ever gotten take out sandwiches.
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February 1st, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Hey,
It may just be tradition, but I love Corky & Lenny’s… assuming we’re talking about the same one. I can’t speak for the corned beef, being a pastrami person myself, but you should definitely try their matzo ball soup and potato pancakes. I go there at least a couple of times a year, and always get the same thing – as I said, it’s tradition! They also have a lot of… unique food items at the front of the store at times, which is interesting in itself. And as for the angry Eastern European lady… you get used to her
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July 12th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
I have a fundamental problem with anyone who is looking for a corned beef sandwich that has a lot of “luscious fat” in it. WTF, man?
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