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Sidewalk Cafe
1 S State Street
Painesville, Ohio 44077
440-352-0222
Seeing as that I no longer work in Painesville, it had been some time since I visited the Sidewalk Cafe. My ladyfriend and I decided to head over there for lunch last week, before we went tuxedo shopping (uggh!) for the wedding. It was freezing outside and after sitting down for about 10 seconds we realized this might not be the best place to eat when it is cold outside.
For those of you that have not been to this Sidewalk Cafe, it is in an old drugstore near the square in Painesville. The restaurant is in the shape of a skinny rectangle with the door at one end and the kitchen behind a wall at the other. Because of this design, every single time someone opens the door a blast of cold air blows through the place. Not cool man. Not cool.
They have a number of lunch items like sandwiches, but I’m a sucker for breakfast all day long. I ordered the sausage omelet with toast and hash browns. The young lady I was with ordered a chicken breast sandwich and cheese fries. With it being so cold in there we were lucky to only wait a half an hour for our food to come.
How was it? Umm, f’n terrible! Some of the worst crap I’ve ever been served. The omelet was not an omelet, but instead scrambled eggs with chopped up sausage links. The hash browns and toast were ok, but if you manage to screw up toast, you are a special individual. The chicken on the chicken sandwich was darker than the night sky, pretty much inedible, unless you like the taste of charcoal. To go with that there were some yummo cheese fries that probably would have tasted better with Elmer’s glue up on there. At least they would have had flavor then.
Oh, I almost forgot about the ranch we got to dip the fries. Unbelievable! I don’t even know where they would have gotten this stuff. The only thing I can even compare it to, is if you have a little cup of ranch and you toss it into the sink when your done with it. You ignore it for like a week because you’re too lazy to do dishes, but when you go back the ranch has mixed with the dishwater and other stuff. That’s probably close to what it tasted like.
To top off this wonderful meal, the bill for the two of us came to $18.18, before tip! Awesome. I like to support Painesville businesses and I love the gyros at this place, but I can’t see going back to the Sidewalk Cafe. Maybe the place has already peacked and now it’s going down, down, down, like a ring of fire….
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