1. You better finish your food because there are people starving in Africa. African people have elephants and Sally Struthers (yes, there is a difference) between those two food groups alone they could easily feed the entire continent.
2. Eat your carrots they will help you see better. If that was the case, then why doesn’t some entrepreneurial spirit sell carrots outside the Ophthalmologist’s office? He’d make a mint.
3. This is the same food that the Muppets/Barbie/GI Joe/Molly Ringwald/Strawberry Shortcake eats. Sure Dad, I bet Big Bird just loves bologna on white bread with Italian dressing.
4. You can’t have coffee it will stunt your growth. And I thought it was from the cigarettes I was stealing from your purse Mom.
5. You can’t go swimming after you eat or you’ll sink and die. Yeah, just like Uncle Don did, right? When he ate that whole bottle of Johnnie Walker.
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