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DSC_3179It didn’t take long. Within 5 minutes of arriving on Marvin Hershberger’s Middlefield farm I had lost my shoe in calf-deep mud (I hope it was mud) forcing me to step into the same mud with my pristine white sock in an attempt to fish out my Adidas Shell-toe. After an eventful search, I found my very dirty shoe while covering my arm and camera with mud. 

A few minutes later I met Marvin, an Amish farmer with hands rougher than concrete, looked me up and down with mud up to my knees, globs of mud stuck to my shoes and a filthy arm, he said simply, “Muddy out here.” I have to imagine that’s Amish for “city boy”.



I know what you’re saying. Gourmet pizza, in Chardon? Are you smoking doobies Mark? Alas, I am not.

A few weeks ago the old lady and I were out with our son in beautiful Geauga county when we passed through Chardon Square and saw people waiting on the sidewalk for Noce. My first thought was that they must be giving something away with a John Deere logo on it, we were in Chardon after all.

We were welcomed inside with the rich smell of garlic, down a short hallway to the maitre de’s stand. Once we saw the size of the place, it was no longer a surprise there were people waiting outside. There were maybe 5 or 6 small tables tightly packed into the dining area, everyone of them filled.

Since we had brought a two year old who wasn’t interesting in waiting for pizza, regardless of how awesome it may be, we made the decision to get it to go. Trying decide on just one of the pizzas on the menu was tough, every one of them sounded delicious, but I settled on the sausage-mushroom-gorgonzola-garlic pizza.


Oh shit that was good pizza. All of the topping were of very high quality, especially the sausage which met my ridiculously high “fat man” standards. The combination of all the flavors was perfect with the salty richness of the sausage being cut by the tangy cheese and sweet pieces of roasted garlic. Crispy crust on the thin-side made for an excellent base. One of the best pizzas I’ve had in a very long time.

Check out Noce Pizza in Chardon, they are right on the square.

Noce Gourmet Pizzeria
125 Main St.
Chardon, OH 44024



Yesterday if you saw my post about “The Coffee Catcher” and were lusting after one, well go buy one you cheap bastard! Or you can win one. I’ve got two to give away and I’ll give one to a commenter on this post and another to anyone that tweets this:

Yeah, he’s fat but he’s got such nice hips. http://goo.gl/7lNl @eatingcleveland #imonlydoingthistowinsomething

Awesome, I know. You can enter once via each method. Contest ends on Friday at 5:00p.m.


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I love me a cup of french press coffee, so smooth and delicious, beats the hell out of that swill you get for $4 a pop. However, there is one little thing that I hate about using a french press: cleaning the bastard. So obnoxious. All the grounds are smashed into the bottom of the carafe and the only way to get them out is to scoop it out bit by bit with a long spoon. Dreadful.

I’ve even pondered with issue with my co-workers, suggesting that there must be a better way. My idea was the “Coffee Press Condom”, which may possibly need a different name, but it would fit into the carafe, the grounds would go into it and when you were done you’d pull out the condom and toss it in the trash. Ok, it’s not the greatest idea in the world, but it would work.

However, thanks to the guys over at Kaffeolgie my “Coffee Press Condom” will never see the light of day. That’s because they came out with the “Coffee Catcher” which is essentially a mesh disk that you put in the bottom of your coffee press before adding the grounds. It then sits on the bottom during brewing and when it’s time to clean up you pull it up and all the grounds come up with it. Stainless steel sweetness.

They were nice enough to send over a couple so that I could see how they work. In order to get the disk in and out, there is a little detachable handle that slides into some tabs to secure it. I thought that this would turn out to be the downfall of this device, how are you ever going to find those holes when it’s covered with coffee grounds? Well, if you line them up with the spout, it’s actually pretty easy to find and lock into place.

I gave it a shot this evening and it worked pretty darn well. I had a bit of trouble maneuvering the handle off the tabs once it was in the press and when I pulled the grounds out some got stuck on the rim of the press. I think like anything else though, once you do it a couple of times it will become second nature and you’ll wonder how you ever got along without it.

It’s pretty neat little product that fills a need, so I’m down with it. If you’d like to get one for yourself you can do so from their website or they are also available on Amazon. They have also given me a few to give away to readers to keep your eyes out for the contest later this week.

I am one cheap S.O.B., this fact is not secret. But what I really like is getting an awesome deal. I will shop around for weeks or even months to find the best deal on whatever I’m buying. And then, because I am an arrogant ass, I will tell EVERYONE I know how smart I am because I saved $4 on a cheese grater. “Oh you, paid full price for your cheese grater? SUCKER!” God, that feels so awesome.

There is also something to be said for getting a good deal that’s no work whatsoever, and that’s why I like the Cleveland restaurant deals site idineDeals Cleveland. Every day they have a new restaurant deal for restaurants in Cleveland and the surrounding areas. For example, as I’m writing this they have a deal running for Chester’s Legacy Tavern (OMG ITS SO CLOSE TO MY HOUSE) where you can buy a $35 gift certificate for $15. I pretty much suck at math, but even I know that’s too awesome to pass up.

And that’s all this site is: great deals on Cleveland restaurants. No more hunting around for coupons or waiting for specials, this is a new deal every day. You’ll be leveraging group buying power to get these big discounts. But you have to act fast when you see a deal that catches your eye though – there is only a limited number of each available.

idineDeals is also great way to try new restaurants all over Cleveland and those certificates would make some mighty fine gifts (especially for your favorite fat blogger). If you want to keep an eye on idineDeals Cleveland for Cleveland restaurant discounts you can follow them on Twitter, become their fan on Facebook or do what I do and add them your your RSS reader.

idineDeals Cleveland

idineDeals Cleveland is sponsoring this post by providing compensation to the author.


They estimate that 66 million pounds of sheep’s cheeses are imported to this country every year, yet very little sheep cheese is produced in the United States.  

The Ohio Sheep Milk and Cheese initiative is trying to determine if the potential exists to make raising milk sheep in Ohio a valuable endeavor. Give them a hand and fill out this quick survey, especially if you are a chef or food business owner.

Ohio Sheep Milk and Cheese Survey

If you’re interested in finding out more about the Ohio Sheep Milk and Cheese Initiative head on over to their website.

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homemade cottage cheese

I’ll admit until I went on my low-carb diet a few months back, I couldn’t stand cottage cheese. It was something they served in hospitals for sick people and I was not sick. Even the name sucks: Cottage cheese. Whenever I think of cottages I can’t help but think of those shitty paintings by Thomas Kinkaid. “Painter of light” my ass. You paint ugly pictures of imaginary places for old women.

But then I went on my low-carb diet and found that there isn’t a damn thing to snack on! So I settled on cottage cheese a couple of times and found that the stuff is pretty tasty.

I thought I’d take a shot at making it myself and I must say there is nothing as luxurious as homemade cottage cheese. It’s got a super fresh taste that can’t be matched by anything at the supermarket.

*A side note: While it tastes amazing, making cottage cheese at home is a lot of work. It take a long time and it’s more expensive than buying it from the store. So if you’re cheap, lazy and generally busy, you should buy your cottage cheese.


brussels sprouts

Although, it’s still early in the Cleveland gardening season I’ve already made two big mistakes. The first was planting cole crops, specifically cauliflower and brussels sprouts, at the end of May. Cleveland is in Zone 5, considering that cole plants are “cool” weather loving plants, they are best to plant in the early spring or late summer for a fall harvest.


For the first time in my life, I have a garden. It’s a 7’ x 14’ area behind my house that gets tons of beautiful Cleveland sunlight and proves to me that I am the most impatient man on the planet. Holy shit! I’ve waited 2 months, MONTHS, for my tomato to start turning red. Just turning red! Not even you can eat me red, just orangish-green.

A garden is running punishment for fat people.



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Perfect for a light appetizer or a creamy salad topper, these baked goat cheese rounds are ridiculously easy to put together and can make it look like you really know how to cook.

Oh and another great part about this dish? Only four ingredients. Four! Children could make this!